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Archive for August, 2012

A lot has happened over the past two years.  I suffered a major depressive episode and it’s taken me this long to pull out of it.  I wouldn’t have been able to do it without the love and support of my husband.  Between that and all the stresses of me being sick, BDSM pretty much stopped because I really wasn’t in a place where I could do anything.  We’ve just now started playing again and finding that we have to start back at square one.  There are things that I really want to do for him but my mental state is still too fragile for me to consider them right now.  I’m hoping that writing again will help with that.

I love him so much and want to give myself completely to him but I’m still scared of it, of not being able to live up to his expectations.  He’s told me that he has no expectations, that he feels privileged that I want to give myself to him.  He wants more than anything to cherish me and keep me safe.  So bear with me as I work through these feelings.

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